Tuesday, May 25, 2010

At Last! Something to Talk About!

First of all, respect to Dave Andreychuk for the abuse he's taking in this photo. Also, respect to all you goons out there who know how to use "photo shop." I don't know that stuff. That's pure Windows Paint you're seeing in action, baby-nuts.

By the way, speaking of my 1,445 regular season and playoff goal scoring beast in this bastard picture, doesn't Stevie Y look just a bit smug?

Of course he does! Wouldn't you?

He's just come from the classiest organization in the NHL, where he amassed a mountain of goals, points, accolades and Stanley Cups. He followed his playing career by a tour of duty working in the head office with the brain trust that kept the wins machine winning all that time. He threw together the 2010 Olympic Gold Medal team for Canada, and also won Gold (2007) and Silver (2008) with Canada at the World Championships (and if you think that's easy to do, just ask Mark Messier. Sorry, Moose, no vacancies in Tampa Bay).

And after all those Cups, Championships, etc, S-Wize gets to walk into the easy fix: Tampa Bay is mere tweeks away from POWERHOUSE. I'm calling it! They need pieces, duh.  But they've got a better foundation than a lot of teams that done made them playorfs this'un year.

Whys'I talking like that? Because, stupid! I've been drinking the koolaid all day. And I'm ready to get on the Y-ship and fly into the sun, because that is where the wins are.

Okay, let me lay it down straight. I live in Toronto, but when something is going on with the Lightning, I go down to Thunder's, which is a strip club and hot wings joint down in the dark end of town. It's a Lightning bar. You have to fight three Maple Leaf fans to get in, but it's worth it. I went there today to watch the announcement of Yzerman as TBL's new GM, and I felt something there. Yes, I felt a stirring in my pants as Francesca did her zucchini show on stage, but I also felt hope. Big, throbbing hope, in my pants, and in the room.

When the cack-sticks of Barrie-Koules started playing SEGA hockey with the lineup back in 2008, and they signed every available forward for $10,000,000,000 each (Adam Hall got a solid gold boat!), were the sleezy reptiles of Thunder's Ribs and Tits jubilant? No. We could see what would happen. We could see the team was now being run by fools. And we knew everything would fall apart.

Now? There's hope. Sure, Crackhead Ramone started yapping about how Marty St.Magic wouldn't play for the man who left him off the Olympic roster, or even that the Yz-Man wouldn't want MSL26 on his roster, but I belted Ramone a hard one across the mouth and told him to have some respect. SY19 and MSL26 are the same. They are fierce, die-hard, Canadian winning machines. They bleed winning. And they're going to bring us wins.

I have mixed feeling about this whole project. Yes, Yzerman has never been a pro GM before, and he's never had to hire his own staff. But I smell wins. I smell playoffs. I smell...credibility.

Oh, and on a side note, if they had decided to hire Pierre McGuire...I was going to find a new hobby.

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